|  There are no right or wrong answers to the challenging questions that meaningful relationships present. The creation of authentic power is a journey. As you take it, you become shipmates by choice with those whom you value enough to invite on your journey and who value you enough to invite on theirs, and all the storms and clear skies that you encounter together provide each of you opportunities to move toward your soul or away from it.
|
I Discovered About Myself that I am not tolerant of CHANGE especially when “others” impose it on me. I organized my life to be able to be ON TIME and somewhat ahead of schedule… then I find out I am “late”!! I have two assignments due and I am about to leave on a five-day trip and then a three-week vacation. My throat was tight, my forehead was tight, and I was raising my voice. I was looking for someone to join me in my feelings so I turned to my wife but she would not play with me. She said something like “I see you are upset and you need to do what you need to do and by the way where are you feeling this.” I wanted to tell her, “Do you not understand what is happening? This is wrong. Get upset with me.” It didn't work. I then had to feel it myself and scan my own body. Not someone else's body, what a rip-off. This is no fun. But I am learning, I now see what the EARTH SCHOOL really is. What a concept!!!!
Only meaningful relationships can take you through your defenses into the territory of your heart and the wisdom of your soul.
I now see even more clearly how out of control my need to control my husband is. Today I felt incredible pain my chest, throat, and solar plexus and I finally understood that my need to control him is why I remain angry. Parts of me are so frightened to be the change that I want to see… these parts want him to change and prove to me that he's worthy of my respect and trust. I want so desperately to have a loving family and now that we have our child that dream is even bigger. I see that I've been so frightened of not having a loving family that I've needed to control my husband into providing my “vision” of it. Parts of me have been too afraid to believe that I am worthy already and that I already have the perfect family and relationship. I have been creating my worst fears instead of empowering myself with love. These parts of me have always wanted to leave and find a “better partner.” As soon as I acknowledged this and took responsibility, I was able to shift my energy and I felt so much love for my husband. I'm so grateful for the way this works… whatever I am giving, I am receiving… it's as simple and complex as that!
Relationships of substance and depth – spiritual partnerships – are the ultimate meditations. They require every tool that is necessary to create authentic power – emotional awareness, responsible choice, intuition, and trust – and you cannot complete the journey to your soul without them.
Love,
<<
Back to Gary's Soul Thoughts |