Are you a participator or a spectator in your life? Do you watch the events of your life unfold as though on a movie screen, not affecting you, or do you use those events to learn about yourself? The first OPPORTUNITY that every painful experience offers, even if it is a painful experience that others are suffering, is to ask yourself, “What can I learn about myself from this experience?” Not what the people who are suffering can learn, not what friends can learn, not what
you can learn about others, but what you can learn about yourself. For example, do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel there is nothing you can do? If so, are you paying attention to that feeling? Those experiences are experiences that you can challenge and change because they are expressions of frightened parts of your personality, not “who you are.”

If you watch a disaster on television, such as a flood, hurricane, or tsunami and decide to contribute to the relief effort, why are you giving? Do you look at your intentions? Are you giving because of guilt? Because you have so much and now so many have nothing? Because you think others expect you to give? Or because you expect yourself to give in these types of situations, that your self-image requires giving? Are you giving because you want to help with no second agendas? Look at your intentions and learn about yourself from them, not to judge yourself but to learn about yourself so that you can free yourself wherever you see yourself controlled by fear.

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